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| The British Auxiliary Squadron | Hop |
The British Auxiliary SquadronYoung Australia: “So you have come to protect our property, our mothers, our wives, and our sisters.”
Officer of Squadron: “Yes, don’t you know, and to marry the latter —if there’s—aw—money in it.”
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| A Change for the Better—A Sequel to the Egeria “Mutiny” | Hop |
A Change for the Better—A Sequel to the Egeria “Mutiny”Ex-Mariner of England (“doing” five years for “not being good”); “My Friends, Don’t Worry About Me: after all this branch of Her Majesty’s Service is preferable to that over there and the uniform, as the Naval Service goes nowadays, much more honourable!”
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| "The Lion in the Way" of Federation | Hop |
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| Calf Government | Hop |
Calf Government“Lord Hopetoun has given an order for 300 liveries to an Edinburgh firm.”—Cable.Tailor (to newly-appointed Australian Governor of the Hopetoun type): “And I suppose your Lordship would like to have your men well set up—a little wadding here and there about the shoulders?”Governor: Aw, cawnt say I’m a great stickler for chest and shoulders, bur let us have plenty of buttons and a wealth of calf. There's nothing so much helps to ‘draw closer those silken cords which unite,’ etc., etc., as plenty of calf at Government House!”
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| Save Us From Our Friends | Hop |
Save Us From Our FriendsVulture: “Come under my wing and I’ll defend you.”
Lamb: “What will it cost?”
Vulture: “Oh, not much—a pound or two of your wool to feather my nest with, so to speak!”
Lamb; “Thanks. You’re too fond of mutton to be trusted.”
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| he Imperial Naval Defence Scheme | Hop |
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| Graminivorous Objection | Hop |
Graminivorous ObjectionImperial Lion (to Old Man Kangaroo): “Let us Federate, my son. I will get into your pouch.”
Old Man Kangaroo: “Let you into my pouch, you carnivorous old rascal!”
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| “Imperial Federation in a Nutshell” | Phil May |
“Imperial Federation in a Nutshell”Australia (to John Bull): “If you and I Federate on the basis of a differential tariff in your favour, I presume it will mean cheap goods for me? The labour you employ is tolerably cheap, isn’t it?’
John Bull: “Oh, yes, pretty cheap. I pay, say, a pound a week all round.”
Yong Ho: “One pong every week! Why, me welly much cheaper! Me pay only sixpenny one month!
Australia: “Ah Mr. Bull, if I do Federate with any foreigner it must be with Yong Ho. He offers me so much the better bargain.”
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| A Purely Australian View | Hop |
A Purely Australian ViewCustoms Officer (to Chinaman, just arrived): “Now, John, hand over tour poll tax!
Chinaman (showing his Hong-Kong naturalisation certificate): “No savee poll-tax. You lookee my paper. Me Blitish citizen.”
Chorus of ignorant native Australians: “A British citizen why he’s just as yellow as the other beggars.”
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| Quite Enough | Hop |
Quite Enough[Duncan] Gillies (loq.): “Yes, Your Royal Highness, it’s a great—a noble cause, and I’ll be happy to contribute.”
[Ed. The Golden Jubilee of Queen Victoria was celebrated on 20 June 1887 on the occasion of the fiftieth anniversary of Queen Victoria's accession on 20 June 1837. The Bulletin was highly critical of the extravagance of the celebrations and the enthusiasm for it shown by pro-Imperial sections of the Australian press and public. However, in this illustration, Hop depicts Duncan Gillies, Premier of Victoria, reluctantly donating a one-penny coin into the tophat of the Prince of Wales, heir to the throne.]